A few more weeks have passed and I am getting more and more anxious as well as more and more nervous for this step I am about to take. I cannot wait to get away and find myself deeper than I have ever thought possible but at the same time I am scared to death that when I come home I will feel like I have lost myself again because I will be more acclimated to the life of the European than to the life of the American.
I have always thought of myself as a weak person. One who didn't stick up for what they want in life nor what they believe in enough but that's not what everyone else sees. Everyone else sees the Joelle who is able to bounce back from any situation without more than a little bit of a wince, who is ready for anything and will be there for anyone no matter how much it hurts her. That's not who I am and that's not who I'm going to be anymore. I am going to work on living for myself and seeing how I can be the best I can be. No one is going to get in the way of that and when I graduate from Carthage in a little less than 2 years I am not going to be the Joelle who walked out of Anoka High School a new graduate on June 2nd, 2008.
We celebrated our birthdays' on my mom's side July 4th and it was nice to spend the day with family. I will miss each of them more than they know. I got money from all of them which I will spend to buy the pieces of clothing I need to make my clothing more fitting of the style of those my age in Europe (specifically in Spain and France). I have already gone shopping with this money once and am continuously on the look out for more things that will come in handy while there. I cannot wait to start packing my suitcase.
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